Friday, June 30, 2017

Roachlings


"Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most."

Roachlings
No. Enc.: 10-100
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 60' (20') Climb Walls as Thief.
Armor Class: 7 (as Leather and Shield)
Hit Dice: 1
Attacks: 2 at -1 to hit, or 1 at +1 to hit.
Damage: Half of normal damage for Melee weapons.
Save: F10
Morale: 8 (Suffer -4 to Morale in Bright Light)

Special: Climb Walls, Hide in Shadows and Move Silently as Thieves. Some specimens advance as Thieves or Magic Users. All Roachlings are capable of extruding 'gut-crystals' and/or 'milk.'

Ranging from 1' to 3' tall when walking upright, Roachlings are rarely if ever encountered alone. They know full well the dangers of the Bright Places and avoid them as much as possible, except for a few demented or deranged individuals who have developed a taste for adventuring in the humanish world.

Roachlings can extrude a messy yellowish-pink goo that they dredge up from their mid-gut and work into a thick, viscous material that sets-up like a form of pinkish amber. This so-called 'gut-crystal' is packed with nutrition and is much sought-after by the Candy Makers and Confectioners.

They used to sell their 'milk' to anyone, especially during the harsh winter months, but during the First Pruztian Occupation the Roachlings banded together and made a contract with the Maidens of the Well who have held a monopoly over the roaches' 'milk' in Wermspittle ever since. This of course has led to some friction over the years with the Confectioners who likewise signed an exclusive arrangement with the Roachlings in regards to their 'gut-crystals.' To this day it is not uncommon to see gangs of Candystripers or Sweethearts ambushing or accosting lone Milk Maids. It is rumored that the Milk Maids are in negotiations with the Sisterhood of Swans to gain some protection from the Candy Maker's servants and agents...


"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it."
Donald Knuth, as quoted by Alan Kay


Before the Great War there were rumors that a number of rival Orders and some Academic Libraries were using swarms of literate Roachlings to transcribe ancient scrolls, clay tablets, illicit manuscripts, and other sorts of things in secret. None of the groups accused of this crime have ever admitted to it and no one was ever punished for it, allowing many Yellow Journalists to decry this as some sort of hoax or fraudulent account. Nonetheless it would account for the Roachlings acquisition of both literacy and spell-casting capabilities...and their disturbing access to some extremely archaic forms of spells and rites few modern scholars know beyond off-hand mentions in the records of defunct organizations or the vague descriptions offered in decaying popular texts from centuries ago...

A more disturbing claim is that while employed as scribes and archivists by their various masters, the Roachlings slipped a few sarcastic comments, pornographic marginalia and even some critical yet subtle errors into the works they copied. Thus it is common practice to blame faulty spells, gibberish scrolls or mis-translated rites to the Roachlings...despite nothing ever having been proven.


There is a wonderful little article at Science Alert that gives a bit more detail on the 'Super Food of the Future, Cockroach Milk. Obviously, such a food-source would be critically important in the winter in Wermspittle...too bad it is in such short supply...

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